I almost broke up with my bf

Beauty is never linked with goodness or kindness, beauty was only made for suffering, on both sides... we suffer, because we are surrounded by fans, but never true friends, or even lovers... we are cursed to be loved only by what’s on the outside... for that is the only thing beautiful about us... because what’s pretty on the outside is rot bitter on the inside. I fear I have only realized that today... I feel so empty, I can’t bear looking at my reflection, it’s so beautiful, I fear it might turn grotesque and eventually become my inside. Beauty is wicked for others too… because only a true curse will be the same to all, both beautiful and ugly, ugly people are the soon to be resented and shamed ones… that the curse of beauty lies on, because they are the true beauty… because they are rot on the outside, but on the inside are kind and sensitive to any type of emotion… instead the beautiful ones are bound to hate the hypocrisy on peoples words when they come out of their mouths… we are loved and hated for truly what we are… beautiful… because only the meanest, most evil monster of them all could create such a curse, only he could create something that attracts the weak eyes and lust of every living thing, because only a beautiful and attracting thing made by a monster could cultivate such horror. Now are the times I wonder what it would feel like to just not live… to loose myself in my horrific person… and just vanish into the atmosphere… I want to love, but how can I ? when all I am is bound to live like a shameful creature, like Dorian Gray, or Dracula… I feel so alone, because I can’t trust only but myself… because I know that others will try to help, but the curse is too strong… I’m hard as stone, because only the bad lives the eternity… and the good always come to an end… why was this path chosen for me?. I wish I were… no, I wish I weren’t, I just don’t want to be, because there is nowhere the curse will not fallow… there is nowhere to hide. I just don’t want to be, I’m so sorry my little one… I was meant to be alone, and there’s no doubt about that fact, I just wish I would have known sooner… I promise I didn’t want to waist your time, nor make you feel inferior, but you have much to learn… and you are so young and innocent… I must go know, for there lies a long road ahead of me, and I will in did… I don’t feel good =’(

her...

here you can see a, not very clear, not very big... ok, so the picture sucks, but you can kind of see how big and what shape my tattoo has, and if it looks drippy that’s because it has bacitracina, and it’s suppose to do that the first days: http://www.oidossucios.com/comunidad/?nick=missnormal.To other news, I can’t believe how boring was yesterday, regularly I would have gotten cranky, but I guess I’m over that stage of my life… I was just feeling funny yesterday, and well I talked to many people on the phone, I talked to Lucia, to Andros, to Augusto and finally (a someone that might leave you shocked, again) Reinaldo, he asked me out, but I’m only going for tow reasons, and one of them is because he has cigarettes, and the other one is because I have nothing better to do, cause on Friday witch is the current day that we’re going out, all I have to do is go to the school and collect the last period of school grades. Emmm… so I think I’m going to Maracaibo this Monday after all, cause mom’s all sick and she’s taking her being sick as an excuse so that she doesn’t have to go to Chells store to get her tattoo, I personally think she thinks it’s gonna hurt -_-, and it doesn’t hurt that much, just stings a little.Ohh yeah, I am awake again, so fucking early, and that’s not the weird part, the weird part is that if I were in class I would never wake up this early, I would wake up at like… 7, not at 6… in fact it was hard to wake up at 6, generally mom would wake me up at 6:30… but anyways… My tattoo looks pretty this morning ^_^, it’s not that drippy anymore… but I guess that’s also because I was laying down.Anyways, I have nothing else to say… so, I’ll update latter.Anyways, I have nothing else to say… so, I’ll update latter.

JAJAJAJAJAJ...

JAJAJAJAJAJJA XD I think I just convinced my mom to get a tattoo

Today ...

Today I’ve done nothing -_-... dad tried to fix my computer... it was useless... umm... well I’m kind of waiting for my parents to fall asleep so that I can smoke... even though I shouldn’t because I’m sick, but like I give a shit ^_^ anyways... I ate like... 8 mini chocolates =S I feel fat now... and I also ate bred... and I had breakfast and I had a really big lunch... I think I'm eating too much... >=S this isn't fair... when you're sick you're not suppose to get hungry... you're suppose to starve until you get better, but all I do is feel like shit and eat chocolate like a maniac -_-... life isn't fair, anyways... I really like Vendetta red (a group) O_O it's so great!!!.I talked to Reinaldo today... him calling me was all a mistake, it's just that he received a call on Thursday morning, and he was sleeping... so he called back to the cell phone that had called him and he clamed that the voice in the answering machine sounded just like Ana's voice... (I think that's just a lame excuse -_-). So that's why he had called me, and afterwards he said the same person called him, it was just a friend of his whom he didn't have her cell phone number... and blah, blah, blah... shit, shit, shit, he went to a party with her... and by the time he started the chock and bull story I was already bored -_-... so I kind of told him about my tattoo ^_^ and he was all like: if you were my girlfriend I’d be insulting you right now… I wish I would have told him: well you’re not so back of (I'm getting it done tomorrow because today like a 100 years ago was the fucking, stupid battle of stupidface=Carabobo). and everything was closed -_-.Then I talked to Ana on the phone and she told me that she was bored and that she wanted to go out, but as usual, when we want to go out we never can, because her parents insist that she was meant to be an asocial person and that she doesn't need friends... so yes, and she also told me that Augusto wanted to talk to me on the phone and that he had asked her for my number, so I panicked and when he called he didn't even mention yesterday... so I had a word vomit and asked him what he thought about yesterday, and he was all like: I had fun... Men totally suck... I wish he would have said something interesting like... wanna go out? or maybe... wanna see each other today... well he kind of did, he told me to go to Prados del Este to drink... but I can't because I'm taking medication -_-... so yes... I was bored all day long... I just wish he would have created a tense situation like telling me that he "loved" me and that he was willing to give it all up for me, but I only had to do one thing, leave my bf, and I would have obviously said I would do it... and then wouldn't really do it, but I'd make him believe that I did... and then I could have a sex buddy and my bf ^_^ jejejejeje... I know what you're all thinking... I'm a big fat bitch with no type of moral, respect for myself, what so ever... well here's a little thought; I have my own moral. It may be lower that a female dog moral, but it's mine ^_^ jajajajajaja XDXDXDXDX I feel ironic, sick and happy today.

Uyyyyyyyyy...

Uyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! I just left Lucia a message XD in her cel phone XD I’m high, and sleepy >_< I don’t get it, can that be possible? to be high and sleepy at the same time? I’m… very much aware that I should be sleeping right now… but… I’m not jijijijijjjijijji I feel… happy :D ok… so yes I got high out of talking to my cousin :p but it’s not my fault I’m excited cause he’s coming to Caracas for Christmas :P

Test

No se que escribir asi que voy a pasar esto, bueno tambien lo voy a pasar porque no lo puedo enviar porque mi compu esta fastidiosa....1)que hora es? 7:43pm2)Nombre y apellido completo:Irene Mariam Valbuena Ruiz(saben que es muy...especial??? que toda mi vida he estado escribiendo mi segundo nombre con n al final y ahora me doy cuenta que es con m...)3)Cuando naciste? el 21 de marzo de 19894)signo zodiacal: aries5)edad: pronto voy a tener 15 pero por los momentos 146)Tatuajes: ... no tengo, pero, quiero uno en la espalda7)Piercing? no tengo y no quiero8)estuviste enamorada(o? creo que lo estoy ^_^9)Amaste tanto a alguien como para llorar? no10)estuviste en un choque de autos? no11)has tenido alguna fractura? no12)salchicas o hamburguesas? no se, no me acuerdo a que saben, pero creo que me gustaban mas las hamburguesas13)pepsi o coca? no me acuerdo a que saben14)cerveza o vino? naturalmente que vino, la cerveza es para gente de baja calidad(mentira, lo que pasa es que la cerveza es muy amarga para mi gusto)15)Respecto al amor...? no se, en realidad no soy muy experta en el tema16)Color de ropa interior favorita? negra (es mas sexy, pienso yo)17)numero de calzado? depende puedo ser 39, 40 o 4118)Numero favorito? en realidad no tengo, yo digo que mis numeros favoritos son el 21 y el 3 pero eso es solo porque es la fecha de mi cumle19)Supersticioso? no20)Tipo de musica? las de los 70, 80 y 90 (lo cual es muy extraño para una persona de 15 años)21)Cancion? Kiss me de Six spence non the reacher o algo asi se escribe eso...22)Flor? la rosa, rojo o blanca y los narcisos23)Tema de conversacion mas detestado?... no se24)Disney O warner Bros? Disey25)Restaurant de comida Favorita? Friday's 26)Cuando fue tu ultima visita al hospital?cuando fui a abortar... (no vale mentira )27)color favorito? Morado Oscuro y negro, pero soy racista(jajaja mueran negros, "no vale solo en broma")28)Como te ves en 10 años? vieja y probablemente trabajando29)quien de tus amigos vive mas lejos? no se30)que cambiarias de tu vida? no me gustaria cambiar nada, bueno solo algo, poder pasar mas tiempo con Rei(I te quiero Puqui) 31)Tienes computadora en casa? si tengo 232)CD preferido?... no se me gustan muchos33)mejor sentimiento? sentirse normal o nulo34)Lo primero que piensas cuando despiertas?pienso en mi puqui y luego en que tengo que tomarme 8 vasos de agua lo cual me molesta mucho 35)las tormentas te asustan o te gustan? me gustan36)si pudieras ser otra persona quien serias? me gusta ser yo, ademas, no vambiaria a mi puqui por nada37)algo que tienes puesto siempre y que nunca te quitas? no se, mi reloj? y sin embargo me lo quito para ba;arme38)que hay en las partedes de tu habitacion? nada porque estan cnstruyendo y quitaron todo39)que hay debajo de tu cama? ...(entra a su cuarto y mira debajo de la cama) una alfombre40)Deporte Favorito? baloncesto ^_^ es demasiado chevere41)Timida o extrovertida? no me concidero ninguna de las dos, pero si los ayuda a clasificarme una ves me dijeron que era neurotica42)Tu apodo: Yrene con Y y acento en la Y, no me pregunten...43)que te gustaria que te regalen? un viaje para Los Roques, otro para los E.E.U.U, muchas flores y los mejores amigos de las mujeres: los diamantes(en collar o en anillo y tal ves en zarcillo)y cosas que tengan que ver con mi signo zodiacal(claro aspectos de mi signo que se reflejen en mi)44)que no te gusta de ti? mi inestabilidad emocional(te extraño mucho Puqui >_<)45)Hablas otros idiomas a parte de tu idioma natal? si, halo ingles, frances, un poquito de italiano(thanks Gio), el idioma universal de sodo-mudo y ya ^_^46)Tu pasatiempo favorito? Dibujar y escuchar musica47)Playa o montaña? me gusta mas la montaña, es que en Merida la pase muy bien viendo los paisajes ^_^(thanks Lu, te acuerdas del Rancho? JIJIJIJI)48)Coleccionas algo? pequenas miniaturas49)Tu programa de TV favorito? no se, me gusta mucho Dead Like Me50)CAntante que menos te gusta? Britney Spears51)Frio o calor? frio, el calor es desesperante -_-52)Cuanto mides? emm...1.62cm, jijijjji soy bajita para algunos y altas para otros...kk eso se puede mal pensar mucho ^_^53)Mejores amigos? mis bebes(del cole) y mi hermanita(tu tambien primo)y mi puqui(porque antes que cualquier cosa fuiste mi amigo te quiero ^_^)54)Religion? Cristiana55)Estudias? que? y en donde? si estudio, en el colegio francia en 9no(que dificil es quimica >_<)56)Tienes vicios? si, fumar y soy muy dulcera57)que color de ropa resalta en tu closet? una mini falda anaranjada58)Canal mas visto? E! y Sony59)Tienes perro? si tengo 3 y a algunos que no son perros pero se comportan como perros jijijijji ^_^60)Hermanos? si tengo a Mony(edad:16) y a Edgar(mitad hermano edad:26)61)Persona mas detestada? mi tio Eddie() deseo que se muera)62)que cosas hay en tu cuarto? como ya dije, por haora solo esta mi cama y mis muebles (por la construccion, definitivamente estas preguntas no estan hechas para mi situacion)63)Llorona? no (Monica no tienes derecho a opinar, no es justo ella me viene viendo desde que naci, claro que ella piensa que soy una llorona)64)Romantica? si, pero me da pena de ves en cuando(Puqui sabes que me ganas siempre en eso)65)Comida preferida? creo que es la pasta y el pollo(sorry cuñado ^_^)66)Defectos?mi nariz, es un poco desproporcionada 67)Ahora son las? 9:03pmwow solo me tomo 1 horas y 20 para terminar esto, eso tiene que ser bueno porque a la persona que me lo mando le tomo mas de 1 horas y media ^_^

Estoy muy molesta para escribir

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